Thoughts of a fighter

“Why am I doing this?” – is the question I often ask myself. 

You can be fighting for so long that you soon forget what you are fighting for. In other words, every so often I have to remind myself of what I’ve set out to accomplish so I don’t lose sight of my goal(s). I don’t want to wake up one day and ask myself, “Why am I here?” I do not want to come to the realization that I am fighting without a purpose, fighting just to be fighting. My biggest fear is that I will find myself in the fight but not actually fighting anymore only because I have forgotten what I am fighting for. If you are a fighter and I hope you are, it will come a point in life where all you know how to do is fight – fight to survive – fight to the finish – fight till the end – fight till you can’t fight anymore. Then you will ask yourself, “why am I fighting because this fight seems like it will never end.” 

When the nights become dark 
And the lights are dimmed low 
When the lonely fighter becomes restless 
But tiredness emotions he will never show
With relentless perseverance the fighter keeps on fighting 
For one day he hopes to learn what he was fighting for.  – Thoughts of a fighter 

Trust God during your storm!

As he looked towards the sky with tears in his eyes he said these words, “Father, will my troubles ever end? I am constantly faced with many obstacles each day. Although, I know my purpose is worth fighting for; I begin to wonder if it is worth all that I have to endure. You know I don’t want to give up but I have no more strength left in me. I’m tired and these burdens have become too heavy to carry.  Father, I can barely survive another day. I feel as if I have been in this storm for far too long.  I need your help.”

Jesus came to bring you hope in the midst of your troubles.

“But the boat was now in the midst of the sea, distressed by the waves; for the wind was contrary. And in the fourth watch of the night he came unto them, walking upon the sea.”                                         – Matthew 14:24-25 ASV

But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer (“Courage”); it is I; be not afraid.”  – Matthew 14:27 ASV

Life gets hard sometimes but don’t give up. It’s confusing and complicated when you can’t see your way through your troubles but God lives in trouble water. The troubles you are facing right now are only moving you out of your comfort zone and closer to the promise of God. Anytime God promises you something look out for trouble.

Beware of distractions

 ““Come!” answered Jesus. So Peter got out of the boat and started walking on the water to Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he was afraid and started to sink down in the water. “Save me, Lord!” he cried. At once Jesus reached out and grabbed hold of him and said, “How little faith you have! Why did you doubt?”” – Matthew 14:29-31

We can become so distracted by what’s behind us and around us when our focused should be on what’s in front of us. How often do we allow our circumstances to distract us? Your circumstances and problems are only distractions. They are only there to distract you from what’s in front of you. Just like many of us I find myself distracted by my problems and not trusting God especially when I can’t feel his presence. Sometimes we feel as if God has left us during our storm but really we allow our distractions to lead us away from Him. Don’t be so focused on your storm that you lose sight of God.

Do you think God will take you through a storm just to leave you? God knows we can‘t go through our storms alone. He knew the challenges you would have to face in life. He knew the pain and suffering that you would have to go through. He knew the toxic people who would mistreat you. More importantly, He knew that no matter how hard they tried to keep you down, that they could never hold you back.  He knew the difficult path you would have to travel in order to fulfill your destiny. He knew all that your journey required of you. He knew that you couldn’t accomplish your purpose by yourself. He knew that you were going to need Him at some point. God is waiting on us to realize that we can’t go through the storms in our life without him. Did He not tell you that He would be a shelter from the storm and that He would fight your battles? Key word “would” because your battles have already been won. Stop trying to figure it out when God has already worked it out. Listen, no matter how impossible your circumstances might seem, no matter how hard your trials are, no matter what situation you face in life, never forget you serve a God that’s bigger than your problems. He trusted you with your troubles now it’s your turn to trust Him. I encourage you to trust God. Give all of your problems to Him and He will give you rest. Will you trust God during your storm?

 “Can say to him, “You are my defender and protector. You are my God; in you I trust.”     – Psalms 91:2 GNB

It’s not the load that breaks us down, it’s the way we carry it.

 “Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit; and you will find rest. For the yoke I will give you is easy, and the load I will put on you is light.”– Matthew 11:28-30 GNB

Silent Storm

Have you ever come to a point in life where you begin to feel severely overwhelmed with everything? You’re mentally fatigued, emotionally drained, physically exhausted, and no amount of sleep could ever cure the tiredness you feel. Night after night while the rest of the world is sleep, you’re awake in complete silence, sitting in the dark with a mind full of troubled thoughts, praying that God would ease your pain. It’s agonizing battling your troublesome thoughts throughout the night till morning comes. You’re awake when the sun rises and soon your sleepless night turn into yet another restless morning. Have you ever experienced that? Here comes the scene where you look in the mirror and convince yourself you are okay. You prep to look your best so others won’t notice. The truth is no one knows how much you fight to survive each day; they don’t know how much you suffer. You smile to hold back tears; you pretend to be happy but you aren’t. Have you ever had to hold back tears and pretend to be happy? Have you ever felt tired of lying to everyone when they ask how you are? Though you are falling apart on the inside you tell the world you are okay. Little do they know you are screaming “Help me my life is falling apart!” It is the most undesirable feeling to fake a smile while looking someone in the face but you did. So, how can you fake a smile and say you are okay but on the inside you are breaking down? Why did you do it? Take a moment and ask yourself that.  Are you smiling now while reflecting on why you did it? You pay the cost of suffering in silence and doing what it takes to not give up. Oh what a brave soul you have become during your silent storm!  

What is a silent storm? A silent storm is not a storm that everyone is aware of or better yet a storm anyone can see. It’s a secret that nobody knows but you. A silent storm can be anything such as: family issues, finance troubles, marriage troubles, car troubles, work related stress, health issues or just simply life obstacles. It can be anything but no one knows but you. No one sees your pain because you hide it so well. You endure a lot inside and don’t say much but I know your pain runs deep. The truth is we all go through a silent storm. So, why do we keep quiet about it? The better question is what’s the purpose of a silent storm my friend? 

The one thing you may dislike hearing the most during trouble times is “Everything happens for a reason”. You may think that it would help if you knew that reason right? Well it just may hurt more to know in the beginning so that’s why God reveals it when you’re ready. I know it hurts not knowing why something “unfair” is happening in your life. You may feel sad, hopeless, lonely, and confused. You feel like no one cares. But I have learned that there is something more powerful and stronger on the inside that can only be realized during what seems like unfair hardships. Yes, it’s painful but God has a purpose for your pain. Hard times are meant to develop and build us but the circumstances can be very frightening. We are fighting a war every single day (mostly in our minds) and at times it may feel like we are fighting a losing battle or better yet it may feel like we are going through a midlife crisis. Whether you are young or old we have all experienced that feeling. It’s terrifying! Am I right?  It’s terrifying seeing yourself falling apart right before your very eyes as well as in front of the eyes of others. Although you are falling apart you find it hard to tell someone. We suffer in silence because during silent storms we never tell our close friends, family members or even our significant other (if applicable). The worst part about going through a silent storm is when we feel or think that God is not with us. We feel alone but we always have to remember that we are never alone. Read this last passage very carefully! 

God said “He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Yes, sometimes it seems as if God has abandoned us, but remember His Promise! Focus on God when He is taking you through deep trouble waters. When God is silent He is working on something in you for what He has for you. Our blessing is ready, waiting on us but it is us who are not ready. Yes, it may take some time but learn patience. He strengthens our weakness to prepare us for the blessing. Allow God to work on your weakness while making you stronger. What you are going through now is only for a season. You may not understand today or tomorrow, but eventually God will reveal why you went through everything you did. He will restore your family, your marriage, your health, and your finances. Don’t give up because you have what it takes. Be ready for the blessings you are about to receive. Trust Him! 

“Watch for the new thing I am going to do. It is happening already — you can see it now! I will make a road through the wilderness and give you streams of water there.”

Isaiah 43:19 GNB

“Keep your lives free from the love of money, and be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.” Let us be bold, then, and say: “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can anyone do to me?””

Hebrews 13:5-6 GNB

Prayer: Lord, keep us encouraged especially when our journey gets rough, our faith grows weak, and our spirit gets lonely. Amen.

This is where I leave you….

The end became known as the adventure grew dull. Perhaps, I have traveled this road far enough. Oh! This path looks familiar and soon it will never be the same. I contemplated why I can’t continue. Lost in thought, I pondered where I stood and stared one last time down this road as far as I could. I have seen how far this road could take me until my eyes could see no more. Although I am forever grateful where this road has taken me yet I know there is more that awaits me. My journey has brought me far and yet I am not content with where I am neither am I satisfied with the way things are. There is a sense of emptiness from the goals I have yet to accomplish along with the dreams I hope will soon come true. I consider it a blessing to start a new chapter as this one comes to an end. As I reflect one last time before I begin my pursuit. I will take with me this moment for soon it will just be a memory and life as we know it will never be the same.

Though I am greatly focused on the road ahead I will never forget the people I’ve met along the way, the experiences we’ve shared, the lessons I’ve learned, the memories we’ve made and the lives I’ve changed .

This is my story and as one chapter ends, a new chapter begins. You must die every day and awaken to a new beginning. Cherish every moment!

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